freak on a leash

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TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

JAEHWAN HAS NEVER BEEN AN ORDNIARY CHILD. AFTER HIS PARENTS HAD FIGHTS NEARLY EVERYDAY, HIS FATHER DECIDED TO LEAVE, HWAN BEING ONLY 7 YEARS OLD THEN. HE DID UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION AT THIS AGE BUT HE NEVER DEEPLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT, DECIDING TO PUSH HIS THOUGHTS AWAY. TWO YEARS LATER HIS MOTHER MET SOMEONE NEW AND SOON HE HAD A STEPFATHER IN HIS LIFE. AT THAT MOMENT HWAN DIDN'T KNOW THAT HIS LIFE WOULD BE GETTING EVEN WORSE FROM NOW ON. HE WAS LEFT MOSTLY BY HIMSELF ALREADY, SINCE HIS MOTHER NEVER REALLY TRULY CARED FOR HIM LIKE A MOTHER WOULD. SOMETIMES HE WISHED IT WOULD HAVE STAYED THIS WAY, IT WASN'T AS BAD AS WHAT WAS ABOUT TO COME.

AT THE AGE OF 12 HIS NEW "FATHER" WAS STARTING TO BECOME VIOLENT TOWARDS HIM. IT STARTED SLOWLY, IN THE BEGINNING HE WOULD OCCASIONALLY 'TEASE' HWAN, MAKING UP STORIES JUST TO SCARE HIM (TELLING HIM HIS MOM WOULD BE SICK, GETTING IN A CAR ACCIDENT, ETC.), ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKING OVER HIS PLATES OF FOOD AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS. WHEN HWAN DARED TO SAY SOMETHING AGAINST IT, HE WOULD GIVE HIM A SLAP ACROSS THE FACE. IT DIDN'T LAST LONG UNTIL HE STARTED BEATING JAEHWAN UP FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

THERE WAS A MOMENT IN SCHOOL WHERE HWAN REALIZED HE WASN'T INTERESTED IN GIRLS AT SCHOOL LIKE ALL THE OTHER BOYS WERE. SOON HE ACCEPTED THE FACT THAT HE WAS GAY BUT HE KNEW HE COULD NEVER LET HIS PARENTS KNOW. HE WAS 17 YEARS OLD WHEN HE HAD HIS FIRST DATE WITH A BOY HE DOESN'T REALLY REMEMBER ANYMORE, NOT EVEN HIS NAME SINCE IT WAS JUST A SHORT TIME THAT THEY DATED. FORTUNE WASN'T ON HIS SIDE. JUST WHEN HE THOUGHT IT COULDN'T GET WORSE, HIS STEPFATHER ACTUALLY CAUGHT HIM AT THIS ONLY DATE HE HAD. BY CHANCE HE WAS DRIVING BY THIS CERTAIN CAFE, SPOTTING THE TWO OF THEM HOLDING HANDS. HWAN DIDN'T NOTICE. BUT WHEN HE CAME HOME, HE DIDN'T FAIL TO REALIZE WHY THIS WAS HAPPENING. WHY THIS HORRENDOUS HUMAN BEING WAS CALLING HIM ALL KINDS OF SLURS AND STRANGLING HIM, ALMOST KILLING THAT NIGHT. BUT HIS MOTHER NEVER DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

FINALLY WHEN HE TURNED 18 HE GRABBED THE COURAGE TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME. HWAN DIDN'T EVEN MIND IF HE WOULD END UP LIVING ON THE STREETS, HE JUST NEEDED TO GET OUT OF THERE. SOON ENOUGH HE INDEED ENDED UP ALL ALONE, NOT KNOWING WHERE TO GO NOR WHERE TO FIND HELP. HE WASN'T AWARE OF HOW TOUGH IT WOULD BE WITHOUT A HOME, WITHOUT SOME SORT OF... GUIDANCE. THE FACT THAT HE DIDN'T FINISH HIS EDUCATIONAL PATH EITHER MADE THINGS EVEN HARDER FOR HIM. BUT THEN ONE DAY, AS HE WAS CROUCHING THERE AT A BUS STOP, SOAKING WET FROM THE RAIN SOMEONE CAME TO ACTUALLY HELP HIM. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE DANGEROUS TO JUST GO WITH SOME RANDOM STRANGER, BUT HE OFFERED HIM A PLACE TO STAY AND HWAN THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN TO JUST DIE OUTSIDE IN THE COLD.

THIS TIME LUCK WAS ON HIS SIDE. WELL, MORE OR LESS. HE HAD A WARM PLACE TO STAY, HE WAS BEING FED, THIS STRANGER EVEN BOUGHT HIM CLOTHES AND OTHER THINGS HE NEEDED AND IT AMAZED HIM BUT ALSO CONFUSED HIM AS TO WHY HE DID THOSE THINGS. AFTER SOME TIME HE WAS EVEN OFFERED A JOB, SOMETHING TO USE HIS... TALENTS IN. JAEHWAN WAS AN UNBELIEVABLY GOOD DANCER, HE USED TO IMPRESS A LOT OF PEOPLE AT HIS SCHOOL. IT WAS A PASSIONATE HOBBY OF HIS. THOUGH HE NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD USE THIS SKILL AS A PROFESSION IN HIS LIFE. AS THIS KIND OF PROFESSION. IN A NIGHT CLUB. HE WAS TAUGHT A LOT OF THINGS. WHAT TO DO, HOW TO IMPRESS PEOPLE, HOW TO MAKE THE VISITORS FALL FOR HIM AND EVENTUALLY EVEN DO THINGS FOR THOSE PEOPLE. IN RETURN HE WOULD BE RECEIVING MONEY AND HWAN REALIZED WHAT KIND OF SERVICES HE WOULD BE OFFERING SOON. THINGS LIKE THESE WERE ILLEGAL, BUT HE WAS TAUGHT HOW TO KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT AND AT LEAST HE HAD A SOMEWHAT DECENT LIFE. HE LEARNED TO ENJOY IT SOMEHOW BUT THINKING ABOUT HOW HE ENDED UP STILL BROKE HIM EVERY TIME. UP TO NOW HE REMAINS WITH DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, THAT HE LIKED TO PUSH ASIDE WITH THE EVENTUAL USE OF DRUGS.

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